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The Beauty of Peace
Words Annabel Gold
The commodity of peace isn't spoken about much when thinking about the beauty of women. In this day and age, the word beauty connotes make-up, appearance, style, cosmetics, sometimes intelligence and education. As a wellbeing coach, I have many therapeutic conversations with a variation of women and what I find in a lot of my sessions and interactions is that a lot of women heavily struggle to be at peace. So many females have been so used to living their lives in agitation and anxiety about the future, the past, the present, who they are, what they want to be, what people think about them. The list goes on.
Questions for thought; How beautiful is an anxious/worried woman? How beautiful is a woman who pretends to be what they're not? How beautiful is a woman with an unstable mind? I continually observe that over the years, more attention and importance has been placed on altering & perfecting the physical ‘beauty’ of women rather than the inner ‘beauty.
Over the years we've seen the development of the beauty industry, something I’ve been intrigued by the Aesthetic treatment branch of beauty which pays attention to altering cosmetic appearance through the treatment of conditions including scars, skin laxity, wrinkles, moles, liver spots, excess fat, cellulite, unwanted hair, skin discoloration, and spider veins. Also, things like lip and cheek fillers have become very popular among young women. Every day we look in the mirror and fix the way we look from our hair, to face, to body shape but what lacks attention is the ability to fix how we look on the inside. I think about whether it's because we're too busy covering up what is inside, which people don't easily see with the appearance and impression that is isn’t seen.
Although in outward appearance a woman can look perfect, behind that woman is a heart and mind that is emotionally unstable, that anxiously cares about the opinions of others, that has the inability to forgive and move on from past hurts. I think it’s lovely when a woman is able to tend to their physical appearance and equally pay attention to the health of their heart and mental state. Looking put together doesn't always mean actually being put together.
Why Peace?
Peace in a general sense, a state of quiet or tranquillity; freedom from disturbance or agitation; applicable to society, to individuals, or to the temper of the mind. Peace is often associated with quietness, calmness of mind and silence, in my opinion it’s a rare trait among women. The biggest challenge we all face is getting quiet in our minds, whether there is external noise or not. Tranquillity will always come from within yourself first & sometimes there are conflicts on the inside that disturb that tranquillity.
We get about 50-70,000 thoughts a day, so of course it’s difficult for the mind not to wander but it is possible to be in control of where the mind wanders to.
Peace and perfect well-being are freedom from fears about the future, fears about tomorrow's events, fears about what people could do to you etc. It is also freedom from moral conflicts. A woman that has overcome moral conflicts is no longer in doubt about who she should be and how she should be. The average woman today is confused about who and how she should be, the rising pressures of social media have a big part to play in this as well as parental/peer pressure. There are many dimensions of peace, but attaining it first starts with making an effort to be calmer and more present.
In many of the sessions I have with people, I find that a lot of the mental struggles they have is based on the past, a past event, a past relationship, past mistakes etc. I always encourage that before taking medication for the feeling of anxiety/depression, you should pause and question why and where those feelings are coming from. Western psychological services are quicker to give pills for depression than helping to take a pill called peace.
Start your peace journey:
Take about 30 minutes to reflect and search your heart for any past/present situations that you may feel restless about - also check for any worries/anxiety concerning the future.
Take 10 minutes a day to sit/stand in a quiet spot outside (no phone, no music, just you). Look towards the sky and focus all your attention towards the landscape.
Everyday write out 1 thing you are grateful for.
Expression - Learn to speak your thoughts to someone close to you, if you can’t say it out straight away, then write it out. - overcoming your mental struggles starts with being able to share those struggles with someone other than yourself!
Listen - Understand that it is okay to have many thoughts at once, but running away and trying to distract yourself from them won’t help. Take time to listen mindfully without judging or making any conclusions. As you listen to them just simply write them down.
Moving Forward - Continually come to terms with the fact that you cannot change the past experiences and memories, whether negative or positive. You can only change you attitude towards them, which comes through a process of development & understanding.
Feed on Good - whether we like it or not, our mind is continuously being shaped by the things that we see, hear, watch and do. If we want to be in control of what shapes us, it starts with first being intentional with what we feed our minds with. Feed your mind with good conversations that make you laugh & smile, read things that make you feel hopeful and contribute to your intellect.