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The Corner: I Want More
Words Beverley Martins
My life is pretty damn great, but I want more. More money. More opportunities and discoveries. More knowledge and understanding. More creativity. More clothes, shoes, bags. I just want more. Don't you?
I want so much more, not like I don't have everything I need, but I know there is just so much more out there for me. Even the things that seem impossible or above me. I want it. I want it all. Have you ever felt like you are never satisfied? It's ok babe, it's natural I believe that God made us like that to show that impossibilities don't exist; day after day we see the creations of things we thought were impossible. For example, they told us we could fly, then a stubborn man discovered that he can make an indoor skydiving experience. Not to talk of the one who discovered planes (come on, we can fly and sleep at the same time now). I am just so sure that there is more to discover and I want to be part of that, I want to be amongst those that bring something new to the world.
It’s funny how I found this question hidden behind many other questions. I've been in a place where I've been complaining that I need to make new (types of) friends. This will definitely take a miracle; everyone knows that I can't stand people for more than an hour. I can barely keep the ones I have because I don't answer their calls and I never go out. Essentially I think these questions have arisen not to confuse me but to propel me. Like a call to something greater.
Theambitionplan.com stated that people are not satisfied because “they have unrealistic expectations”. They then went on to say, "The most common reason people are not satisfied with life or feel like they are not as happy as they should be is down to the existence of the word 'should'. And the vast majority of us don't accept what is, and instead strive for an imagined reality". Don't lie, you know, I know, and God knows that somewhere in your mind, you have a picture of what your life should be, and sometimes when reality does not resemble that picture, life gets frustrating. For me, I'm a billionaire to start with, but sometimes when I can't do billionaire stuff like fly to Paris to eat brunch, then get to NYC in time for dinner at 11 Maddisons. Not to talk of the things as small as paying my phone bill… it becomes frustrating.
Sidenote: People always say “focus on what you have and not what you don't have”. I agree, I really do. But sometime what I have gets boring. Although, it is important that as people who wish to get ever better to turn that little thing that you have into something great before moving on, that’s the beauty of actually looking and what you have. Turn what you age into what you don’t have. I know it's hard to focus on what we have, in the midst of need. Like not havinv enough funds to acquire things we want or need. Or having dreams and visions, lacking the knowledge and tools to get there. So though the saying stands correct, sometimes I want that aunty to shut the hell up. Luckily, I don't need these things (now, anyway), especially to live my life; I'm happy. Happiness is a state of mind, while satisfaction is the absence of want. Happiness is an emotion while satisfaction is not.... Although both Happiness and satisfaction can go together, one can be happy even if his wants are not met while he can be satisfied without necessarily being happy. The difference between happiness and satisfaction is that happiness is a state of mind while satisfaction is the absence of wants and desires. As opposed to satisfaction, happiness is an emotion...
When we look at the word satisfied, it always seems so permanent, but really and truly, once we begin to examine the whole state of one's satisfaction, we realise that there is always an expiry date. Let's use food as an example; I love food, I crave something new every day (sometimes I can't go to sleep without eating it)—most times it's Mac and cheese with fried chicken. Now, imagine my anticipation and excitement to consume such foods. — Maybe I've been waiting a week; I'm excited and ready to devour... I eat it all to my heart's content; I'm full and slumped. Satisfied. A few hours later (for me, it is 5 minutes later), I'm no longer satisfied. Now I want a dessert to feel satisfied, bear in mind I just ate, and I'm full. But my mind has told me that I'll find satisfaction in that chocolate cake. (Hold on, I’m just realising why I’m not losing weight. Sigh.) Then maybe the chocolate will hold me till the next day (unless you're huge gluten, sorry, I mean a big eater) —The next day, the cycle starts all over again because I'm hungry, now craving steak and sweet potato.
In essence, we must acknowledge that we would still be fine if we didn't eat that Mac or the cake. We’d be healthier for it (all this talk and I’m still not signing up for the gym, help me lord) going for a salad and a bottle of water would still fill us up, but our minds have a way of creating a picture of what it thinks will satisfy you. By the way, I’m not encouraging you to eat healthier; I’m not even listening to my own advice.
I don't have a conclusion as I'm still learning and discovering. I've come to realise satisfaction does not last, and satisfaction is even over-rated. Regarding money, we need money to do this and that once we get it, we need more; nothing is ever enough. Nothing in this world is designed to be enough. That is why God permitted reproduction. Don't you wonder 'if I reach my goal, I'll be good’ you're a liar, no you won't, if you were good the last time you reached a goal, you would not have another plan today. Humans always want better; it doesn't matter how high or low you are; we all want better, a built-in hunger not soothed by food but by the rush of wanting more. It's OK not to be satisfied; we get better by not being satisfied with where we are. But when satisfaction is based on a toxic vision of harming another or wanting something terrible for ourselves, we need to sit and review our intentions. Why would this thing make me satisfied? Why do I want more?
There is so much more to discover and more ground to cover, and I’m damn sure I'm going to discover it and so are you.