A letter to the daughters on Father’s Day from our Editor

Words Phadria Prendergast

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DEAR DAUGHTERS,

For a long time Father’s Day was bittersweet for me. My dad had been absent from my life since the age of 7-years-old and quite frankly, I thought life wasn’t fair. I thought I had been given the short end of the stick, because my family life - namely my (non-existent) relationship with my dad, didn’t look like everyone else’s. It wasn’t the picture perfect portrait that was often painted in TV shows, and it certainly didn’t look or sound the way my friends had described their own father-daughter relationships throughout my primary, secondary and college education. 

Truth be told, those 7 years that I experienced with my biological father, I was what you would have called a “daddy’s girl” through and through. So, when he ultimately decided that he no longer wanted to be part of my life shortly after my 7th birthday, I was heartbroken. I couldn’t and didn’t understand why.  

Today, as I type this letter to you all, our beautiful readers and specifically, all of the daughters across the globe, I sit content and in complete understanding, because in all honesty, I couldn’t remember anything my dad had taught me. I briefly remember him putting me through private school and providing a lovely home for us to live in at the time, and I’m grateful for both, but that was all I could really recall. 

I understand today that fathers cast a vision; fathers shape your mind; fathers show you who you are. Fathers create and leave behind legacies. Fatherhood is about sacrifice. Fatherhood was never about the amount of times I was told “I love you” or how many times I’d been taken on holiday, nor was it about how many things I was given or bought, but for many years, when I thought about fatherhood, it was often what I associated it with. And so, I realised that my dad couldn’t father me, it wasn’t his fault. He also hadn’t been taught how to. 

Now, I am privileged to have a father, who I’m not biologically related to (because true fatherhood has little to do with blood), but who has reshaped a once bruised mind with harsh, but true and invaluable words of wisdom. These words guide me, help me to make sound decisions and allow me to discover who I am daily. They’ve presented an alternative future before me, one that would have otherwise ended in turmoil, simply because I had no real guidance. 

So with that, I would like to say happy Father’s Day to all the incredible fathers (blood or otherwise), who are casting the vision for their daughters and guiding them through life. 

And to the daughters.. mainly those who on this day, often feel broken, defeated, sad - I hope my words bring you understanding and solace. 

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